Monday, 17 June 2019

Write-In 2019: 'Happy Family' by Sue Massey

Gabi, don’t follow the example of mummy dearest and be late for school! Your packed lunch is half-made in the fridge. You’ll have to finish it for yourself. I’m late for work! Sorry darling. Love you.x

Esther – couldn’t find an ironed shirt so had to wear a crumpled one. Thanks a lot. Love you. Ben.x

B. Stop being so needy. Iron your own fucking shirt. Love you. E.x

Mummy. You are an utter loser. How could you not put the cheese inside the bread? Love you lots – all the same. G.x

Hey Dad! When you get home tonight can we play football on the park? Hopefully it won’t be dark? PS Gabs – did you tell Millie I fancy her? Rich.

Rickie. Millie does not fancy you. Get over yourself. Love you. G.x 

Stop calling me Rickie. Rich.

Ben, darling (eugh!). If you’re home before me, please chop some onions, celery, carrots, garlic. I’ll bring the minced beef in with me, and a bottle of red. Spag Bol for dinner – if we’re lucky? E.x

Mummy dearest – I’ve already booked dad to play football – so Gabs will have to prep the veg. Dad – you can thank me later for getting you out of that one. Rich.

Rickie. I am not prepping the veg. Over to you mate – you lazy batard. But I still love you! G.x

Esther. Doubt I’ll be home before you (especially as I’ve been commissioned to prepare the veg). Ha! Ha! Sorry Rich – footie another night? Ben.

Ok guys. Shall we meet up in the pub and go for an Indian? Dad’s paying. Love you all. E. xxxx

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