Write-In 2019: 'I wish the soil were undisturbed' by Elaine McKay

I wish the soil were undisturbed. I wish the shovel were in the shed. I wish I could walk up the hill, undrive the van. Be in the kitchen. Undrink the bitter coffee. See the heat spirals unwind back into the shitty brown liquid. See clear water flow back up the pipes. Unhear- You're useless at everything. You stupid bitch- for the millionth time. Push down the lava of volcanic rage in my stomach before it erupts.

But you don't ever take back your words. 

I wish the soil were undisturbed.