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Sunday, 16 June 2019

Write-In 2019: 'Rear-View Mirror' by Mileva Anastasiadou


Today’s the big day. I may be young, yet I know she’s the one. Today, I’m determined to confess my love.
“I love you,” she tells me. I look at her speechless, unable to utter a word.
“Answer me, damn it!”
I can’t answer. I run away instead.

I wake up in cold sweat. My mind wanders free for a while, my body still under the blankets. Another boring day begins.

Coffee, paperwork, meetings, until work is finished. She makes the place tolerable. Today’s the big day. My chance to finally tell her all about the love I’ve been hiding inside, since the first day I saw her at school.
“Forgive me for running away back then,” I tell her.
“I still love you,” she whispers in my ear.

Yet I’m still in bed, enjoying the hazy state between dreams and awakening. I love mornings, when time lies ahead, promising, like an empty page. I try to lift my hands, but they feel heavy. I finally manage to wipe the sweat from my face. It feels wrinkled.
I can’t be that old. It can’t be too late. I reach for the alarm. As I open my eyes, I watch a tiny little box falling onto the floor. Pills are spread everywhere.

“Are you ok, Mr. Smith?” asks the nurse.
I turn around to face her. Time flies so fast. Until it’s all behind and looking into the rear-view mirror feels like looking ahead. Until the page is already filled, yet the big day hasn’t even happened yet.

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