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Monday, 8 June 2020

'Good for Business' by Jan Simpson



Funeral teas are good for my business.  Lots of cold, hungry mourners gasping for a cuppa and keen to snaffle my famous sausage rolls.  About a fortnight ago, though, the bookings dried up.  Suspicious that someone had phoned Environmental Health again I gave the kitchen a bit of a wipe down.  Hauling the fridge away from the wall I could see plenty of evidence of my little lodgers.  Fresh and a bit smelly.  I thought someone must be on to me so took care to grind my special ingredients to an even finer paste.  Cashflow began to get tight.  Too many bills were landing on the mat.  I needed a second wave, a spike in cases.  Occasional heart attacks and natural causes weren’t going to get me out of the hole with the bank.  Not to worry though, turns out the Crematorium was just closed for refurbishment, everything’s back to normal, lots of hungry mourners tripping in, eager to snaffle my famous, tasty sausage rolls. 

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