It’s Tabitha’s 18th, and she’s saved from her weekend job conducting surveys to buy her first tube of Film. The parents disapprove, but they’re too old to truly believe. Tabitha truly believes: “A Hundred Steps Forward From One Step Back”.
Under the tagline, terms and conditions roll: Ages 18+. Not guaranteed to generate perceptible changes. Side effects may include imperceptible changes. Not medically approved for major life alterations. ‘Major life alterations’ legally undefined. And so on… But Tabitha knows the rules that count:
You can go back to any point in your life, for one minute. You can do whatever you want, except cause physical harm. If done correctly, you’ll return to the present fulfilled.
She tears off her first frame and focuses, mind reeling back, back, back til…
There. That point.
She steps backwards.
Old Tabitha contains long-forgotten compartments and trinkets there isn't time to treasure. Instead she delivers her new piece from Tabitha’s old mouth, rushed ventriloquy. It feels like fulfilment, she tells herself, but really she’s not so sure. It feels different, she persists, which means it’s better.
Then she’s leaping forwards, clutching at different and better as her mind comes back, back, back –
It’s Tabitha’s 18th, and the frame in her hand is singed: it’s done.
And it feels…
She feels…
She looks at the frame. Murky.
That point she’d chosen…
What was the point, again?
Tabitha’s eyes are wet, but it’s from her weekend job, chopping onions in a sweaty kitchen. She checks the tube: one left.
It’s okay. This time she’ll pick better.
(A Hundred Steps Forward,)
Act better.
(One Step Back.)
Focus harder.
(A Hundred Steps Forward,)
Just once more.
Though she wonders before flickering, why this thought feels familiar –
Has she – ?
Focus harder.
(A Hundred Steps Forward,)
Just once more.
Though she wonders before flickering, why this thought feels familiar –
Has she – ?
Is this – ?
(One Step Back).
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