Pop Quiz on the Non-Linear Social Hierarchies of the Average Urban Australian High School by Sumitra Singam

 CW: classism, coercion and ostracization.

Please complete the following sentences using the completion phrases supplied below. 1 mark for each correct answer, to a total of ten marks. Bonus points for supplying ‘yes’ phrases to indicators of class and privilege.

Questions:

1.       You can tell a cool girl by her __________

2.       The cool boys __________

3.       If you are attempting to enter the cool group, then you should __________

4.       At a party, you should __________

5.       Your look should be __________

6.       If Grady Wong approaches you, his velvet eyes smouldering, you should __________

7.       Because you should have known that Grady is Bella’s __________

8.       If Bella crosses her arms, lifting her right eyebrow, you should __________

9.       If your name and number is scrawled on the boys’ toilet walls, you should __________

10.   And if Grady walks past you in the corridor as if you don’t exist, you should __________

Completion Phrases:

·         …it doesn’t matter, but you should have known

·         try your best to blend into the walls, spread yourself as flat as possible, remove any hopes or wishes from your mind

·         drink only a green smoothie with a half-shot of vodka because of the calorie vs micronutrient profile

·         full blowout with ash-blond extensions and a silver balayage progression

·         hang out at the science block picnic bench

·         walk the fuck away

·         smile and offer to do their homework for a week

·         flick your hair over your right shoulder while also opening your collarbones, to give the impression of larger breasts, though not so much that you’re screaming desperation

·         hold your chin in the quarter-to-four position exactly, tilted down, so no one thinks you’re a stuck-up bitch who’s looking down on everyone. You should also suck in your midriff… a bit more… bit more…that’s it.

·         know that you deserved it