'A Recipe For A Good Night’s Sleep' by Elisa Dominique Rivera

Two cups (500 mL) of distilled water collected from the deepest depths of the Mariana Trench, or if not available, filtered tears from your days having to deal with people at work

One ResMed AirSense Sleep Machine which can connect to your wifi to send data to your somnologist during the night, so the somnologist can creepily watch you sleep from afar

One mask to put over your nose and mouth connected to the sleep machine to will you into sleep with the hospital-air-exhalation-sound or as your partner would call it “the Darth Vader” effect

One 25mg quetiapine taken no later than six-thirty in the evening. This is an important ingredient which you must beg your doctor to prescribe for you. Without this the recipe falls in a heap at two in the morning. 

(Optional: One standard glass of Pinot Noir from the South Island of New Zealand, in particular the ones from the Nelson region)

One pillow to rest the indignity of your situation

One third sense of humour at the contraptions getting entangled with your limbs as you try to sleep 

A sprinkle of frustration at your brain for refusing to rest

One mighty howl before the drugs take over and you fall into a heap with the sleep mask askew, whistling like a kettle in your dreams. 

This recipe may be served with Functional Procrastination Stew, Side of Disassociation, and the quick and easy Anxiety-Ridden Cupcakes.