'Diamond in the Ruff' by Willow Woo

Since I was little, dogs were everything to me. I dreamed of becoming a dog doctor.

So, at 32, I returned to university to fulfill Biology, Chemistry, Organic Chemistry, and Physics requirements to apply to veterinary school.

Biology was breezy fun.

But my brain rejected balancing equations and grasping Chemistry concepts. Tutoring and study groups were futile. I read the textbook over and over. The pressure transformed into migraines.

I cursed my former teachers, who assumed I was gifted at science and math due to the slant of my eyes and who let me flounder.

After lingering in office hours for years, a new Chemistry professor asked, “Have you been tested?” He handed me a pink sheet and sent me to the Learning disabilities office.

Diagnosis: Central auditory processing disorder (CAPD) = the ears work fine, but the brain cannot process what is heard. But I had graduated from the #1 public university at 21! And it felt like climbing quicksand.

More testing revealed Autism, ADHD, and OCD.

I returned to Chemistry class and flunked the final.

After 6 attempts and 2.5 years of trying to pass, I tried to rinse off my monumental efforts at failing. As my periodic table shower curtain fluttered from the steam, I pressed my pinkie on Atomic Element #6, Carbon.

Fact: 80% of veterinarians have depression and commit suicide at alarmingly high rates. Euthanasia as a necessity contributes.

Chemistry was the blockade, but I had lied to myself about accepting euthanasia. I could never administer death shots to dogs.

It takes 1 to 3.3 billion years of pressure and heat for carbon to naturally turn into a diamond. I had only been trying for 2.5 years. But now I was a shiny, sparkly diamond shimmering in my neurodivergence.

So, what would I transform into next?