'Fertilizer is $19.97 at Home Depot' by Christina Tudor

My wife and I decide I have the stronger stomach for pregnancy. She’s always a little bit queasy. It would be like being on a non-stop zero-gravity ride, she said. The doctor goes on about implantation and fertilization. I feel like a yard that needs tending to. I joke that fertilizer costs $19.97 at Home Depot. Nobody laughs. After the doctor confirms the pregnancy is viable, I dream that I’ve swallowed a handful of nickels. I cough them up, spit them into my unsuspecting hands. I laugh in my dream. I laugh myself awake. My wife stirs beside me, asks what’s so funny. I hold my palms out to her that moments before were full of nickels as if to say here, take them.