'Purchase Partners with One Year Warranty' by Marzia Rahman

Purchase Partners with One Year Warranty:

a local newspaper advertisement catches my attention. Husband/Boyfriend is up for a temporary purchase. If you want a permanent acquisition, contact the customer service.

As I rush there, I find a long queue for temporary partners. A thin line for permanent purchase.  

I bring home a husband. I am a believer. I can dream of illicit affairs, but I can’t indulge it. Lying next to a legit husband, I dream of illicit lovers doing illicit, wild stuff. In the morning, I ask God for His forgiveness. 

My husband is a poet, but he never writes poems. Writers block, he says. He drinks ginger tea all day and hums sad songs. After a month, I return him to the shop. 

The second husband clings to me like a cute puppy. He sniffs my neck, whispers empty promises into my ears. His words sound true, a little poetic. After a month, it feels exhausting though. His idea of growing old together terrifies me.  I send him back. 

I feel skeptical about the third husband; he is a serious guy with a good sense of humor. I feel strangely calm, at peace. Weeks turn into months. I plan to do something special for our six months anniversary when I find him stealing from my wallet. I write a long letter of complaint to the customer service and never receive a reply.

Some suggest to try boyfriends. No commitment, no heartbreaks, they say.  I can’t. I am still a believer.

One year passes by. I stay content but single. Then one Sunday, I find a new advertisement in a local paper: Robotic husbands/ boyfriends are up for purchase. For full information, contact the robotic customer service. I dial the number given.