'The Way Around Him' by Melissa Flores Anderson

• Mute the notifications on your phone
• Actually, mute him so you don’t have to see what he’s liking or not liking (he’s not liking you anymore)
• Delete the playlist he made for you
• Delete the playlist you made for him
• Turn the radio up and listen to angry girl music
• Turn left instead of right out of the driveway, to avoid the park where you sat in your car when he called you for the first time
• Turn left again, to avoid that parking lot where you first met in person.
• Turn left again, to avoid the street where he told you he couldn’t do this anymore, that it wasn’t in his nature
• Turn left again, to be back in the place you started
• Turn right out of your driveway, drive by the park, the parking lot, the street
• Get on 101 South for 20 miles
• Take 156 east for 5 miles, slowing to 50 miles an hour behind a tractor
• Take 1 South for 10 miles
• Exit Reservation Road and drive around the road barricade to park in the lot that overlooks the Marina Dunes
• Stare at the ocean for 20 minutes
• Remember, it is vast and wild, and unpredictable, like love
• Get back in your car and drive up the road five more minutes, where there is someone new who laughs with you every day

'Don't Trust Your Sat Nav. Better ask Google!' by Val Harris

Has it got a postcode?

A bit too early for that?

Let’s just put in The Pyramids.

Go.

Proceed to route guidance.
Take the first star on the right and straight on until morning.

We look at each other. Frown.

Isn’t that the way to Neverland?

I roll my eyes and nod.
Yep, this Sat Nav drives me crazy! It always takes the longest route it can find!

Better ask Google!

'Make Your Move' by Allison Renner

Open the App Store and download Luv+. Type in the coupon code your mother gave you for Valentine’s day.

Enter the dating pool and swipe right when you see someone you like. You may also follow this direction when you get tired of swiping left.

Open the chats and bypass a dozen variations of “hey” and “sup” until you see “wyd.” Click the message above this line.

Read the sentence and note the ending punctuation, which is enough to make you tap “Reply.”

After crafting a message no less than thrice, press send and immediately notice a typo. Close the app in frustration and let your thumb press it down until you see the option to uninstall.

'Finding Your Way into My Heart' by Andrea Goyan

Bring me a box of imported truffles from Gourmandises Sucrées. It’s the shop with a green awning on First and Main. Eat one of the chocolates. Savor the way the creamy sweetness melts on your tongue. Text me a description.

Visit the deli next door and purchase a pound of salami—taste several varieties, and pick the one you think I’ll like best. Add a wheel of brie and a baguette, and voilà, you’re halfway there.

Place the food in the reusable sack I gave you when we first met. The one with musical notes silk-screened on its fabric.

Have you figured out the melody of the song yet?

If so, continue to the wine store.

If not, backtrack to Pietro’s Pianos. It’s a few steps beyond the Frosty Freeze. You’ll see a sandwich board emblazoned with a keyboard out front. Ask the man behind the counter for help, but don’t call him Pietro. No one named Pietro works there. Tell him you’re lost, music being as foreign to you as French. Can he play the bag’s notes on a piano or hum them for you? Once you can repeat them, or even better, sing the song, thank him, and continue to the wine store. The one a block from my home.

Buy a chilled bottle of Billecart Salmon Rose, because if you’ve made it this far, I anticipate a great celebration.

When you arrive, I may, in my excitement, set everything on the table in the sun. Don’t be angry if the chocolates melt or champagne gets too warm to enjoy.

Instead, sing the song to me. Sing with abandon, even if you’re unsure. Sing so my heart hears. Sing so my soul answers with harmony.

Now, hurry. I’ve waited a lifetime and am impatient.

'A Pleasant Countryside Walk' by Lucienne Cummings

Circular – 4 miles, approx 1.5 hours

Difficulty: medium (depending on number of bears)

1. Put on your Hazmat suit and heavy-duty boots before exiting your vehicle. Leave the former Green Man Inn car park (now a radioactive pond) and turn right onto the footpath. Wade to the first signpost. Follow all signs to Hangman’s Hill
2. Skirting the edge of the Once Was Forest, follow the path along Dead Salmon River, to the remains of the medieval stone bridge. If you’re lucky here, you may spot one of the last kingfishers, zooming up the river to find its favourite prey – other kingfishers. Ravenous bears have also been spotted in this area, but there have been no hiker-reported incidents at time of writing.
3. Besting the giant woodlice (more likely at dawn or dusk), swing left at the first row of burnt-out cottages, around the edge of the green lake. As the path begins to climb, about halfway up, you will find a great viewpoint to enjoy the reflection of the drowned spire of St Cuthbert’s Church (in winter), or the nearest wildfires (spring/summer).
4.  Hike to the summit of Hangman’s Hill. This lovely picnic area affords not only panoramas of the beautiful local countryside, but also offers a tactical advantage in the event of localised combat.
5. As you descend the hill back towards the Green Man, look out for buzzard and other raptors, which may view you as a packed lunch. If your car is still where you left it, thank #deity that you were one of the lucky survivors, and pray that World War IV does not come to pass. Please remember to close all gates behind you, and to take all your rubbish home.

'My Guide Told Me' by Heain Joung

Take a walk. Out the door and through your village, go further, to the next village for example. Then look up at the high mountains that surround you and go there. When you reach the top, look around, you will see a vast sea that seems to have no end. Go to its coast, and sail through it, in all directions. Head to the north pole then the south, keep going as far as you can and then some. Reach to the other side of the world, come back and wake yourself up. Go to school, to work, go on a business trip, move out, emigrate, run away. Keep going to your last breath and drop. But don’t worry, I’ll be there too, ready to begin again with you.

You can always count on me by Stella Turner

 It had started on Wednesday September 19 th 1982 at twenty-two hundred

hours, the day I was born. I could tell you how many seconds I’ve been living,

how many miles I have travelled but that might be too much information.

Its nine steps from the bed to the bathroom. Twenty-six from the bathroom to

the kitchen, thirty-two steps from the kettle to the sofa. One hundred and

eighty steps from the front door to the post box. When people ask me for

directions I always start with how many steps it will take them.

I count sheep in my sleep and alpacas whilst I’m dozing. It drives my wife to

distraction. She says she hears me all the time muttering numbers. She still

hasn’t forgiven me when the chip pan caught fire, my fault, and I carried her

out of the house in a fireman’s lift and announced seventy nine steps to the

applause of our neighbours. She didn’t go out for twenty-two days, thirty-three

minutes and fifty-six seconds.

Do a U Turn by Lynda McMahon

 

Travel north on Endeavour Road.

At the next roundabout take the first exit signposted ‘Success’.

Continue on this road for forty years.

Your destination will be on the right.

 

Travel north on Endeavour Road.

Travel north! Make a U Turn!

Redirecting…

At the next roundabout take the fourth exit.

Redirecting…

Continue on the Road to Nowhere for several decades.

Your destination was in the other direction.

 

Travel north on Endeavour Road.

Travel north! Do a U turn!

Listen to me before it’s too late,

Do a U turn now!

What’s the point of asking for directions if you don’t listen to me?

Ok. Once, just once, I directed you into a cul-de-sac but I’m usually spot on so why won’t you  turn round?

That’s better. Back on track.

At the first roundabout…

What do you mean you don’t fancy the look of the first exit? It’s perfectly ordinary. Too ordinary?! Do you want to succeed or not? You do? Ok, then.

Continue on this road for forty years.

Forty years sounds boring? Let me tell you what’s boring! Giving instructions to complete idiots that think they know better. You know what? I quit! So you were ‘just saying’? Well don’t. No, I’m not sulking.

Your destination is on the right.

You thought it would be different? You thought you’d be happy when you got there? This is Success, mate, not Nirvana. That’s me done! Get yourself another SatNav. I’m going where I’ll be appreciated. Find your own way home!

'Bypass Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and Take the Ring Road' by Gill O' Halloran

Proceed North-East on the Ring Road/ A1237. 

I forgot the chillies. 

Turn right onto Merchant Road.

Will they even sell chillies?

Continue 200 yards. 

Last time they came to dinner, they brought the food. He’d only been dead 4 weeks; I didn’t believe he’d gone. Everyone looked after me then. I liked that. Why does everyone think I’m OK now? 

Turn right onto Lyke Way.

I could use cayenne if (he’s dead) there’s no chillies and I need more rice and maybe (he’s dead) I’ll buy some candles for the table if (he’s dead) they sell those though it’s only a corner shop.

In 50 yards take a sharp left.

Their food was awful, and they kept talking about him. “It’s better to talk Cara, after all, the dead don’t leave us, they’re just in the next room.” Fuck their cliches. And they can’t make me talk about him. I got up, walked into the kitchen.

When possible, make a U-turn. 

He was at the sink. I went up to him, bowed my forehead against his back. He turned, put his finger to his lips, drew it soft across mine. I pulled him closer, and we danced around the room. When the song ended, he smiled. “It’s OK, it’s on a loop.”

Back in the living room everyone had finished eating. “Aren’t you hungry love?” 

“Leave her Ange, she probably went off for a little cry.” 

When possible, make a U-turn. 

I wasn’t crying, we were dancing.

Take a right turn onto the Ring Road/A1237.

It’s only been 10 weeks. I’ll talk to you, not about you. My family can’t stomach anything spicy; remember that time you put peri-peri sauce in their scrambled eggs? They won’t want this either, but that’s how we like it. 

You’ve arrived.

NFFD 2024 Prompt #14: Blaze a Trail...

 

Prompt #14: Blaze a Trail...
FIRE prompt C

Welcome to The Write-In!  This year, we're celebrating the 2024 National Flash Fiction Day Anthology theme of The Classical Elements - Air, Earth, Water and Fire. Throughout National Flash Fiction Day, we'll be posting one time-related prompt on the hour every hour from 00:00 until midnight (BST), for a total of 25 prompts in all.  You have until midnight on Sunday (BST) to submit your responses for possible publication here at the Write-In.  We'll start posting responses on Sunday, 16 June 2024....

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Write a flash in the form of a series of directions to somewhere.  You can choose the format; maybe you're recording spoken directions from a SatNav or mapping app, or maybe it's a list written down by a human.... Feel free to be creative in your interpretation of this prompt; the directions don't necessarily have to lead to a real or physical place!

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If you’re submitting this to us, make sure to note that this is a response to Prompt 14: Blaze a Trail....

You can submit responses until 23:59 BST on Sunday, 16 June 2024 for a chance to be published here at The Write-In.

You can claim the badge for this prompt by visiting the badgifier here (hosted by the NFFD website).

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Image by Evgeni Tcherkasski from Pixabay