'If My Dog Could Talk' by Tilly Greenland

 

Oh my god, hooman, I wuv you soooo much, you is my fav hooman, you bwing me fud and givs tickls an scritches and such and, oooooohhhhhhh, jus there, right there, that’s it hooman, you got it, ooooohhhh yeeeaaaahhhh, now fud, giv fud, wan fud, am starvd, you see dees bowanz, is mine bowanz, wan more bowanz, play now, hooman, play wid me, frowd bol, fetch bol, is your turn now, you fetch bol am tired, ned fud, am starvd, and more scritches, dis ma fwend , hooman, dey lik scritches too an fud, not my fud, nevr my fud, bad hooman, growl at hooman, Pippin no share fud with fwend, I run now, catch me hooman, I run fast an far away, can’t catch me hooman, am fastr dan you, Pippin can run vez fast, bye hooooommmaaaaannn, byeeeeeee.