'New and Improved Feline Day Planner' by Caroline Gonda

 

24 December

 

 

 

1.  Wake human for morning feed. If no response to vocal warning, bite foot under bedding.

 

2.  Complain about quality of food.

 

3.  Eat food.

 

4.  Complain about absence of food.

 

5.  Continue tests on kitchen worktop. Results on chewed area inconclusive so far.

 

6.  Repeat steps 2 through 4.

 

7.  Demolish low-hanging shiny objects on unexpected indoor tree.

 

8.  Climb unexpected indoor tree.

 

9.  Reproach human for collapse of unexpected indoor tree. If necessary, follow up with mouse in water-bowl.

 

10.  Mouse stair-flinging. Suggest moving this activity to night shift for maximum effect.

 

11.  Repeat step 6.

 

12.  Sleep.