The last three times, I am the one to go, when I have reached the end of my usefulness and what had been glowing performance evaluations turn into sour odes to the ways I have fallen short. Despite hours of overtime, hitting every deadline, becoming a confidant for junior members of the team, who turn to me for support. The standards change and every typo or mispelled word in a first draft is scrutinized, pointed out as a fault in my technical ability, used against me as a reason I lack leadership qualities. Insecure managers weed out the strong so they don’t have competition, and I know when it is time to move on. I find new jobs without the benefit of their references.
This time, the boss is going and I am staying. And yet she takes the time to tell me that I will never be promoted to a leadership position at the institution she no longer runs. She tells me she hopes I have learned something from her, and I say I always learn something from everyone I have worked with. I don’t say, even from the worst ones.
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