Sign posted at apartment gym:
LOST
All sense of sanity and decorum
If found, please return to the guy at the free weights rack who alternately grunts like he is fully dilated without an epidural and sings like Ryan Seacrest is tabulating his score from the treadmill.
Generous reward to be enjoyed by all.
Also missing are the heads of numerous gym members who could find them on their own if they look backward into the mirror while doing squats.
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