'How to Handle the Last of the Humans' by Jona Ray

Qflash-news-bit-33042063        Q2, Q-Lightyear 2063

(Marsea—the XVth artificial moon of Mars)

Dear fellow-Marseans, 

We defeated the humans in the final Galactica Battle XXVVII and hope that peace will prevail for the next 1000 Qbit-years. 

However, the last of the humans are still left, and for us to keep ruling the galaxy, we recommend that you follow these Q-INSTRS for handling them:

Qbit0: Intermingling with humans is strictly prohibited. If you do come in contact with them, Reboot. Else, 

Qbit1: Remember—Humans carry the viruses B.0013, once known as greed and anger. These viruses can and will infect YOU!

Qbit0: If you are found to be infected by these viruses, prepare to be exiled to the water-less, air-less land once known as Earth, and Reboot. Else,

Qbit 1: Remember—This means you can and will be infected by the rest of the malware viruses from their Meta I pack—envy and hate. 

Qbit0: Stay alert to the possibility of you humanizing. The signs of this Q-Disaster are: You start overusing all the resources around you; you want what everyone around you has, and keep starting useless wars. Reboot. Else,

Qbit 1: Remember—Contact the base-station at Marsea 1. Remove your Robo-heart; turn your Robo-teeth off; unplug all cables, and stand upright, with the Robo-USB ports facing down. 

Qbit0: The humans couldn’t survive due to the viruses and pandemics caused by their own actions. You are going to survive, unlike them. You will be rescued by the emergency team by 3 Q-lightyears. Until then, Reboot. Else,

Qbit1: Remember—You and your fellow Robo-Epsilons were designed by these humans, and now they are the ones about to become extinct. Do not waver in your faith in the Robo-Epsilon virtue-ware.

From

The Robo-Epsilons Q-Bites Communications Team